Jesus Shows Us How to Forgive Others
Jesus Shows Us How to Forgive Others (Even When It Hurts)
We’ve all been hurt before. Maybe a friend betrayed you. Maybe someone in your family said something cruel. Maybe you were treated unfairly at work or school.
When people hurt us, our first reaction is usually anger—and that’s normal. But if we hold onto that anger, it starts to poison us from the inside. That’s why Jesus spent so much time teaching about forgiveness.
But here’s the hard truth: Forgiving doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It means you refuse to let their actions control your heart anymore.
Jesus didn’t just talk about forgiveness—He lived it. And if we follow His example, we can find freedom from bitterness too.
1. Forgiveness Starts With Recognizing How Much We’ve Been Forgiven
One day, Jesus told a story about a servant who owed his king millions of dollars. When the king demanded payment, the servant begged for mercy. Surprisingly, the king canceled the entire debt—just forgave it completely!
But then that same servant went out and found a fellow servant who owed him a few dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded payment. When the poor man begged for time, the first servant threw him in prison.
When the king heard about this, he was furious.
"Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?" (Matthew 18:33)
What This Means for Us:
We’ve all been forgiven of way more than we realize.
When we remember how much God has forgiven us, it’s easier to forgive others.
Holding a grudge makes no sense—we’re demanding "justice" from others while enjoying mercy ourselves.
I used to struggle with forgiving someone who hurt me—until I realized how many times I had hurt people and been forgiven. That changed everything.
2. Forgiveness Doesn’t Wait for an Apology
When Jesus was nailed to the cross, in unbearable pain, surrounded by people mocking Him, He said something unbelievable:
"Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)
They didn’t apologize. They didn’t even feel sorry. Yet Jesus forgave them anyway.
What This Means for Us:
We often think, "I’ll forgive them when they say sorry."
But real forgiveness doesn’t depend on the other person.
You can release them in your heart before they ever change.
This doesn’t mean you have to trust them again right away. But it does mean you stop letting their actions keep you trapped in anger.
3. Forgiveness Is a Choice, Not a Feeling
Peter once asked Jesus:
"Lord, how many times should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"
Jesus replied:
"Not seven times, but seventy-seven times." (Matthew 18:21-22)
In other words: "Stop counting. Just keep forgiving."
What This Means for Us:
Forgiveness isn’t about feeling like it—it’s about choosing it.
Some hurts take time. You might have to decide to forgive over and over.
Every time the anger comes back, release it again.
I had a friend who betrayed me, and even after I "forgave" them, the anger kept creeping back. I had to keep reminding myself: "I chose to forgive. I won’t take it back."
4. Forgiveness Doesn’t Always Mean Reconciliation
Some people think forgiving means you have to:
Pretend nothing happened
Let them hurt you again
Stay in a toxic relationship
But that’s not true.
Jesus forgave everyone, but He didn’t trust everyone. After His resurrection, He appeared to His disciples—but Judas, who betrayed Him, wasn’t there.
Forgiveness is free, but trust is earned.
What This Means for Us:
You can forgive someone without letting them back into your life the same way.
Boundaries are okay. Forgiving an abusive person doesn’t mean you have to live with them.
Some relationships heal. Some don’t. Either way, you can still be free.
5. Unforgiveness Hurts You More Than Them
Jesus warned:
"If you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:15)
This isn’t because God is harsh—it’s because unforgiveness locks us out of His peace.
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
What This Means for Us:
The person who hurt you might not even care—but you’re the one stuck in misery.
Forgiveness is a gift to yourself as much as to them.
When you let go, you get to move on.
How to Start Forgiving (When It Feels Impossible)
Tell God how you really feel. (He can handle your anger!)
Say out loud: "I choose to forgive [name]." (Even if you don’t feel it yet.)
Pray for them. (This softens your heart over time.)
Stop bringing it up. (Every time you replay the hurt, you reopen the wound.)
Final Thought: Freedom Is Worth It
Forgiveness isn’t easy. But Jesus didn’t ask us to do anything He didn’t do first.
When we forgive, we’re not saying what happened was okay. We’re saying:
"I refuse to let this pain control me anymore."
And that’s when real healing begins.
Have you struggled to forgive someone? What helped you? Share in the comments—your story might help someone else!